I saw stars once.

CYO football. Caught a helmet to the chin in practice. They hauled me off and kept practicing. The stars went away and I went back in because in those days, unless you broke your neck (which another kid had done on that very field), that’s what was expected.

Looking back, I must have suffered an undiagnosed concussion.

So that’s going to be my excuse when I model Art Schlichter and get caught scamming a bunch of gullible, ticket-hungry fools out of their fortunes. You know, the kind of stuff that’s sending the former Ohio State quarterback to prison for another decade or so.

Schlichter’s lawyer, perhaps in a play for sympathy, argues that his client’s 15 concussions in high school and college have led to his addictive, bizarre and criminal behavior over the years.

For all we know it could be true, and I can see it now: The Concussion Defense. Caught cheating in college? But professor, I wasn’t in my right mind. Ran a red light? But officer, back in seventh grade I took a helmet to the chin and nobody said I had a concussion so I kept playing when I could see straight again.

Somehow I don’t think it will work. Obviously it’s not working for Schlichter even as his lawyer claims three doctors have found “significant deficits” in the frontal lobes of his brain, most likely caused by significant trauma.

The lawyer said that when Schlichter dies, his brain will be donated to Boston University’s Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy, which has analyzed the brains of dozens of former athletes.

Sadly, the way it’s going, that might be remembered as the best play Schlichter ever made.

Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2408 or smcclelland@ DaytonDailyNews.com.