Think twice before making New Year's resolutions

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By Sharon Short, Contributing Writer Updated 1:24 AM Monday, December 26, 2011

To resolve ... or not to resolve?

At this time of year, that really is the question. Do you love or hate resolutions? Fall somewhere in between?

In many years’ past, I made lengthy lists of resolutions, worked ferociously to keep them for several months and then gave up in exhaustion.

For several years after that, I grudgingly made resolutions, broke half of them and forgot the rest.

Last year I rolled my eyes at the idea of resolutions.

I didn’t make any, so I didn’t break any.

But this coming year, I’m giving resolutions another try.

I have a new attitude.

I’m letting go of what I can’t control. And making resolutions based around what I can control.

At one time, I made resolutions like this:

1. Lose X pounds.

2. Earn Y dollars.

3. Publish Z stories.

All of the above are perfectly fine things to wish for, but I’ve come to realize that none of them are things I can actually make happen. These ideals coming true rely on too many factors out of my control.

My body’s metabolism. The economy. The subjective decisions and whims and preferences of other people.

So, this is really a list of wishes, not resolutions.

Making goals or decisions based on things we can’t control — or beating ourselves up (or congratulating ourselves) over such things — is, ultimately, a waste of energy.

When you really start thinking about all the things that are beyond your control — health issues, others’ emotions or decisions or perceptions about you, where you’re born, how the Dow Jones Industrial Average is doing, the weather — it can seem overwhelming. Scary. Like you’re a very tiny individual in a big, overpowering universe.

At first.

But then it seems ... freeing.

All those things that you don’t have to worry about ... because there is no point! If you don’t spend mental energy on all of those things, then, suddenly, you have much more energy to spend on what you can actually do and control.

I can’t control how people view, judge or react to me. I can only act as honorably and honestly as I know how, and realize that those who know me best will see me for who I truly am (good qualities and foibles).

Similarly, I can’t control how people will react to my work. But I can choose to constantly try to get better at my profession.

So this year, my resolutions will be based on letting go of what I can’t control and focusing on what I can. Taking care of my health through exercise and diet — without setting a magic weight number.

Doing my best work — without worrying about results before I’m even done with a project!

However you decide to approach resolutions, I wish you a wonderful 2012.

Life

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