A friend of mine at work and his wife just had a baby — their first — and the days leading up to the big event sparked many lunchtime conversations filled with stories from those of us who have been down that road before.
We talked about which of our babies came into the world like runaway freight trains, and which were kind to their mothers.
We talked about the doctors who erroneously dismissed early labor pains with, “First babies take a long time,” and those docs who convinced nervous new daddies to cut the umbilical cord.
It reminded me how much more enjoyable it is to look back on these events, compared to wondering how (or if) they will play out.
And it makes me wish that there was an optional cheat sheet available that would list the days these life milestones would occur.
Such as:
The day you meet the love of your life: Sure, that day would be anxious, and everyone who crosses your path would get undue scrutiny. But it would make the other days of your single life more enjoyable.
The day you figure out what your career should be: Many of us second-guess what we can and should do with our lives. It would be freeing to know, “Hey, this is it.”
Your wedding day: This one might work better with a ballpark figure — say within the year — but it would be nice to know just the same. Wanting to know this might be more of a girl thing, because some of us anticipate the day for years.
Then again, if we knew it would happen and when, it would diminish the need for romantic comedies. I bet many men could get on board with that aspect.
The day your child is born: Knowing if and when you will have children would go far in mental preparation — before and after you conceive.
One of the worst parts of my pregnancy was not knowing when my kids would be born.
I will admit, I am a very impatient person. But in that last month of pregnancy, when you are just getting bigger and more uncomfortable by the hour, it would be nice to think: “I just have to make it until next Tuesday!”
Your divorce day: Again, whether this day is even in the picture would be helpful. If you know it won’t be, that can provide some peace of mind; if you know it will, that would help you prepare for the next step (and help you remember that prenup).
The day you win the lottery: This is another milestone that could get by with a yes or no answer.
A yes would mean some pleasantly altered financial planning, and a no would mean that there is even more reason to quit wasting money every week.
The day your parent dies: Nothing in your life can prepare you for losing a close loved one, and the extra sting of losing a parent is that they, for better or worse, have always been a part of your life.
After my mom died, that was one of my biggest hurdles: Learning how to live without her.
But, I do think it would have helped if I knew when she would go. That way I could have been with her, instead of driving to work, when she passed away.
The day you die: This can make you relax or get more done, depending on your information. But, regardless, you would probably do and say what you needed given the time you had left.
However, as we all know, no one is offering up a cheat sheet such as this. And honestly, even with the rough days, I would have to concede that it’s probably for the best.
Because even though it would make life a whole lot easier to know when these milestones would occur, that knowledge would take away much of the excitement and significance.
And, without that, how much fun would life really be?
