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HAMILTON — Convicted killer Harvey "Shawn" Johnson Jr. said he didn't choke to death longtime girlfriend Kiva Gazaway, but apologized for his actions, blaming them on his upbringing.

"To Kiva's family and mine I just what to say sorry," Johnson told the Butler County Common Pleas Court jury Tuesday, May 6, before it sentenced his to life without parole. "I know I haven't shown any emotion — just the way I was raised."

Johnson's mother testified earlier that she divorced Johnson's father when the boy was 6.

"I wanted to take Little Harvey (Johnson) with me," Shirley Brinson told the jury Monday. "But he wouldn't let me, he (Johnson Sr.) told me he would kill me."

Johnson, 33, was convicted last week on aggravated murder while in commission of kidnapping and with prior calculation to escape, raising the conviction to a capital case. The jury found him not guilty of raping Gazaway.

Gazaway, 38, was a Liberty Twp. mother of teenage daughters, Jazmin, 19 and Arienne, 17. She went missing in April 2007. Her nude, badly decomposed body was found in a Blue Ash ravine last May by detectives after Johnson told authorities where to find it, according to court records.

Johnson was the last witness Tuesday in the sentencing phase of his trial. He offered some apology, but remained defiant, saying he was not going to beg for his life and even hinting Gazaway died when she fell into the bathtub.

"I apologize to everyone who has been affected by this, I really do and I ask God to ease our pain," Johnson said.

Johnson told the jury that his statement to Butler County sheriff's deputies was the reason he was convicted of aggravated murder, not a lesser charge of manslaughter.

"What if I had told you she rushed at me, I pushed her, she fell in the tub and drown, what would you have charged me with then?" Johnson asked the jury and deputies in the room.

Johnson said Butler County Prosecutor Robin Piper and his "gang" want the jury to believe Gazaway died of strangulation. "She didn't. They want you to know how I brutally strangled her to death. I didn't."

Johnson said the reason he hasn't showed emotion during the trial and since Gazaway's death is because of the way he was brought up and the beatings he suffered at his father's hand.

But during his short unsworn statement, Johnson did shed a few tears and reached for a tissue.

"They want you to believe I am a monster — that I just woke up that morning and said 'I am going to kill my girlfriend,' " Johnson said, noting that scenario is not true.

Johnson said he was will to accept the penalty "whatever it is."

To Gazaway's daughters, sitting together in the courtroom, Johnson said, "I love you and I know you hate me right now."

He added, "to my family I apologize for the pain suffering I have caused. I want them to know what happened that day (is) unexplainable."

Prior to this trial, Johnson already was facing a prison term. In February, he was convicted of attempting to escape by grabbing a bailiff's gun during an appearance last summer in Fairfield Municipal Court. He was sentenced to 18 years in prison in that case.

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