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The Rev. Greg Tyus and his wife, Linda, grew up watching family-oriented television shows such as "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet" and "Leave it to Beaver" — programs that left an impression on them as young people about the structure of a family.

"We thought this is the ideal of what you need to reach for in a relationship — the white picket fence and all that kind of stuff," said Greg Tyus, 51, a Middletown resident and pastor. "It was pie in the sky, but consciously or subconsciously, that was the goal we strived for as we became adults."

The Tyuses, who married nearly two years ago, are a rare breed, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. They are black, and they are married.

About 70 percent of black women do not live with a spouse, according to the Census Bureau. And a report from the Joint Center for Political & Economic Studies shows only 52 percent of black women will marry by the age of 30.

Most relationship experts and marriage counselors agree the institution of marriage in America — in which half end in divorce — is in trouble.

However, experts say the problem is more acute when it comes to black marriages. There are about 23 divorces per 1,000 black couples per year, compared to 19 per 1,000 white couples.

"We are more likely to divorce and are least likely to be married," said family therapist Audrey Chapman, author of the book, "Getting Good Loving: Seven Ways to Find Love and Make It Last." "We are the most unmarried group of people in America."

Most experts agree this is a complete reversal from the trend 40 years ago. In 1963, when the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech, more than 70 percent of black families were headed by married couples.

A new movement

Nationally, a movement is under way among blacks to raise awareness about the importance of marriage and increase the number of couples making it to the altar. Black Marriage Day, which is celebrated in March, was established five years ago to honor black married couples and promote the benefits of marriage. Area churches and other social groups also are starting to offer marriage-skill programs aimed at strengthening relationships.

LaKishma and Alex Sims, 28 and 37 years old, respectively, said they wanted to "dispel the myth" that young black couples don't value marriage by tying the knot more than a year ago. The couple, who met nearly eight years ago and have two daughters, Taylor and Kennedy, also counter statistics that show 69 percent of black women with children are unmarried.

A shortage of black men

More black men are in prison than are enrolled in colleges and universities — a setting where many young people find their spouses. Also, about one in 10 black males is involved in interracial dating while others are in homosexual relationships.

"It's not that these women don't want to be married," Chapman said. "But because of the numbers, they are basically all scrambling over one man."

And when black men and women do connect, there are not enough structured programs to help keep their relationships together, said Charles V. Willie, a sociology professor at the Harvard Graduate School of Education.

"Our churches and other (societal) institutions have not supported the institution of marriage," Willie said. "They are not teaching people who are getting married how to live with one another."

A lifetime commitment

Greg and Linda Tyus know firsthand how difficult holding a marriage together can be. Both previously were involved in marriages that ended in divorce — which makes Linda Tyus even more statistically unique because only 32 percent of black women remarry within five years of a divorce.

"It wasn't until I remarried that I really understood (the Bible verse in) 1 Corinthians (chapter) 13: 'Love bears all things and endures all things,'" Greg Tyus said. "I can't honestly say I had that same perspective in my previous marriage."

Tyus, who pastors at United Missionary Baptist Church in Middletown, said when he counsels young couples, he talks to them about maturity.

"You have to really understand the commitment you are making," he said. "It's a lifetime commitment, and if you don't approach it that way it won't last. You will leave at the drop of a dime at the first sign of trouble."

Chapman, who also does marriage counseling and conducts seminars, said it is important for couples to do pre-marriage work and not just with a church pastor. She said she encourages young couples to also seek out a family therapist who can help them look at and sort through their differences.

"I like for people to do pre-marriage work that makes them aware of who they are dealing with (as a mate), what they are getting into and what is expected of them in a marriage so they don't start off in Dreamland or Hollywood thinking that (marriage) is like what's on TV," Chapman said. "Because people are different. You have different experiences, different backgrounds, different religions and you may even come from different regions (of the country)."

Bruce and Narvell Hughley were friends before they became lovers — a foundation on which the couple said they've built their 36-year union.

Bruce Hughley, 58, said he and his wife always understood marriage was a commitment ordained by God, "until death do us part."

"What my mom and dad had, I wanted," he said. "And I saw the same in my wife's parents' relationship."

The Hughleys believe a big reason for the success of their marriage has been a mutual investment in one another's dreams and goals.

"We laugh a lot, too," said Narvell Hughley.

Marriage tune-ups

The key to any marriage is maintenance, Chapman said.

Many couples after a few years don't nurture the relationship like they use to, by talking, spending time with each other or just getting away for a short trip or vacation.

"Marriage is almost like a child. If you neglect it long enough, it will drift away and maybe even get into delinquent behavior," Chapman said.

Chapman said many middle- to upper-middle-class black couples spend more time at work than home.

Sean and Shanta Hunter said they learned an early lesson about not taking one another for granted. The young couple recently lost the home they purchased only two months ago to a fire. The blaze destroyed everything and nearly took Sean Hunter and his niece's lives.

The Hunters, who dated for three years before getting married in April 2005, said such a life-altering experience put everything into perspective for them, especially their commitment to each other.

Shanta Hunter, 31, said the ordeal has been stressful, but things are a little easier because both she and her 27-year-old husband understand one another's needs.

"You have to be willing to put your all into it, if you want a successful marriage," she said.

Willie, the Harvard sociology professor, said despite what the statistics might say about black marriage, there are several positives that blacks have contributed to marriage dynamics.

Black couples were the first to experiment with equality in marriage, and today, black unions are based more on love and justice and not financial control or dominance of the male, he said.

"You've got to be committed and know how to talk to one another through misunderstandings, " said Leola Thomas, who will celebrate her 50th wedding anniversary with her husband, Robert Lee, this month. Thomas, who married at the age of 19, said one other thing helps, too.

"Pray a lot," she said.