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MIDDLETOWN — Debbie Hardy and her husband met by chance.

Hardy and her sister were flying from Atlanta to New Orleans for a three-week vacation when a distinguished man sat next to them on the plane.

"We looked at each other, and well, we fell for each other," Hardy said. "It was like he was dropped from heaven."

Now she's praying for another miracle.

Hardy, of Middletown, and her husband, Qassim, have not spoken since Oct. 13, 2005 — 15 months ago — when he vanished in Baghdad.

Qassim, 36, and Hardy met on April 20, 2004, when he was flying to attend a two-month U.S. military-led training seminar on counterterrorism.

She asked that Qassim's last name not be used to protect his safety. Even in e-mails and phone calls to officials, she won't use his last name for fear the information would be intercepted by terrorists. This is the first time she has allowed Qassim's photo to be printed in the newspaper.

Hardy, an Episcopal Christian, and Qassim, a Shiite Muslim, were

married seven months after they met, seven time zones apart. She planned to join her husband in Iraq for a traditional ceremony with his family. Because of Iraqi tradition, she kept her last name.

The couple, thousands of miles apart, communicated through e-mails and love letters that abruptly ended Oct. 13, 2005. That was the day she received numerous scrambled instant messages from Qassim, and after she returned home, she found 48 phone call attempts from Iraq. When she called back, his phone did not work.

Qassim was gone.

"He disappeared off the face of the earth," she said.

Since then, Hardy enlisted the help of politicians, military personnel, the U.S. Embassy in Iraq, the Iraq Embassy in Washington, D.C., the International Red Cross and the Campaign for Innocent Victims of War.

Still seeking answers, Hardy last week traveled to Washington, D.C., with members of the Critical Voice Against the War team. She met with foreign affairs representatives for three U.S. senators and House Minority Leader U.S. Rep. John Boehner, R-West Chester Twp. Hardy urged all who would listen to pull American troops out of Iraq, and assist in locating her husband.

On Tuesday afternoon, Hardy wore a black T-shirt with the words, "We Will Not Be Silent," written in English and Arabic. She occasionally clutched a necklace sent to her by Qassim with the word "God" written in Arabic. But she held little hope.

For her husband and his country.

It doesn't matter whether President Bush sends 20,000 or 20 million more troops to Iraq, she said. As long as the civil war between the Sunni Muslims and Shiites continues, the death toll will only rise.

"I love Iraq people and that part of the country," said Hardy, who has no political ties and never has voted. "But the damage has been done over there. I need to do what I can."

Hardy, a volunteer for the Butler County chapter of the American Red Cross, wants to move to Iraq and work with humanitarian organizations as its residents deal with the destruction.

"My home is in Iraq," she said. "That's where my hope is."

But not her husband. At least not alive.

"He should not be forgotten," she said. "He had hopes, he had dreams and now he's gone."

Hardy glanced toward a stack of photos of her husband, and said: "He's just as beautiful inside as he is outside. He always called me his little angel. But he's my little angel."

She wiped away the tears, then asked: "How can I be silent?"

This isn't the first time Hardy has dealt with a loss of a family member. Hardy, who didn't want to give her age, was a teenage mother. She and her first husband had two children: Jeremy Brooks, 37, who lives in West Chester Twp., and another son, Benjamin Brooks, who died of a heart attack in 2000. He was 27.

Her ex-husband died, and if her worst fears are true, she may bury another husband.

"He never let go of me and I never let go of him," she said.

Middletown woman questions lawmakers

During her visit last week to Washington, D.C., Debbie Hardy, of Middletown, met with foreign affairs representatives for U.S. Sens. George Voinovich, Sherrod Brown, Patrick Leahy and U.S. House Minority Leader John Boehner.

She asked each of the politicians the following questions, but she has not received any responses.

1. In your opinion what needs to happen before we can begin withdrawing American troops?

2. Do you support a deadline for the Iraqi government to start to take control of the security of Iraq?

3. If the situation in Iraq does not improve, after we send in additional troops, at what point in time would you suggest to the president that enough is enough?

Contact this columnist at (513) 705-2842 or rmccrabb@coxohio.com.