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No ‘Dancing With the Stars,’ please
A healthy and prosperous holiday season to you all as you await word on that big Christmas present the Cincinnati Reds are going to deliver - a hard-hitting righthanded-hitting outfielder, with or without a big Christmas bow.
And while we wait?
How many of you have seen the petition from some folks who want you to sign on behalf of George Foster appearing on Dancing With the Stars? The petition says an appearance by Foster would enhance the show’s ratings, as if that show needs a ratings kick in the posterior.
How many people who watch DWTS know George Foster from Jodie Foster or Stephen Foster - and which one wrote My Old Kentucky Home? In all the years Foster was with the Reds, I never saw him dance, except away from outfield walls.
That got me to thinking - always a dangerous exercise. Here are some former Reds who I think should NEVER appear on DWTS.
PETE ROSE - It wouldn’t look good if Rose slid head-first into his dancing partner and separated her collarbone. And what song would Rose use? Ah, that’s easy. Kenny Rogers’ The Gambler.
CLAY CARROLL - A down-home country boy from Alabama and I don’t think DWTS would let him dance to the Electric Slide. Carroll once asked if a Rhodes Scholar was somebody who studied to be a highway engineer. I made that up - but he could have.
GENE LOCKLEAR - He was a full-blooded Lumbee and I don’t think there is a place on DWTS for a native American dance to end a drought. Locklear was an artist and painted portraits of his teammates. Did he give the portraits to the players? Nah, he sold them to them. And I didn’t make that up; it’s the truth.
RAY KNIGHT - Do they let contestants do solos on DWTS. Don’t think so. Knight liked to do everything himself when he managed (and played). Designating authority was not his thing. He would dance to Frank Sinatra’s My Way.
JACK McKEON - Smoking is not allowed on the dance floor and his cigar would be inappropriate. I laughed every time I saw McKeon early in the afteroon before day games doing his physical workouts, long walks around the ballpark’s warning track, puffing a Padron 4000 as he pumped his arms on his stroll. His song would be Smoke Gets In Your Eyes.
SEAN CASEY - You can only dance with one partner and the Mayor of The World would want to dance with every female in the house. And he would end his dance with The Bounce, that thing the Reds did when they scored a game-ending run by gathering around home plate and jumping up and down. His song would be the classic by Danny & The Juniors, At The Hop.
GREG VAUGHN - I fear for the life of the judges who dismiss him. In 1999, Vaughn, the leader of Cincinnati’s LAST GOOD TEAM, picked up a whiny Reds pitcher by the throat and held him against the wall, the pitcher’s feet about six inches off the floor. Can anbody dance to Rocky? Vaughn’s partner would have to be Kevin Mitchell, an equally fearsome fellow, but do they allow same-sex partners?
KURT STILLWELL - He looked so much like the young Ron Howard on the Andy Griffith Show that teammates called him Opie. He would have to dance to the Andy Griffith Show theme song (whistling along with it) and he’d have to dance with Aunt Bee.
Well, you get what I mean. I don’t think George Foster, a great player and a great man, is the savior of Dancing with the Stars, nor is any former Reds player.
Happy holidays and it’ll be spring training before you know it - if the Reds have a full roster by then.
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Hall of Fame baseball writer Hal McCoy is in his 36th year of covering the Cincinnati Reds, the longest tenure for any active writer covering one team. Counting spring training and postseason games, McCoy has covered more than 7,000 major-league baseball games, written close to 18,000 baseball stories and eaten enough hot dogs to give Babe Ruth indigestion.
Comments
By Pete Rose
December 31, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this
There is no bigger supporter of Pete Rose than Hal McCoy. Some peolle just don’t have a sense of humor. Good thing Pete does.By Kathy
December 30, 2008 6:22 PM | Link to this
cheap shot at Pete Rose, get over itBy Kathy
December 30, 2008 6:22 PM | Link to this
cheap shot at Pete Rosa, get over itBy gm
December 29, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this
I think Brandon Phillips in DWTS would be a “beautiful thing”By HuberTucky
December 27, 2008 11:58 PM | Link to this
Sosa? SOSA?!?! Absolute insanity! Why not Griffey? (Sosa without the steroids.) Sosa is not only a terrible fielder but he is DONE! I can’t believe what I’m reading from Jay & Bill. Have you guys even been following the game? Gads!By jay smith
December 27, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this
Yeah, I like the possibility of Sammy Sosa in left. But if not, How about Manny or even Pat. We need that kind of power. And they have proved theirselves in the past.By Bill
December 27, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this
What About Sosa in left?By Fred Stupp
December 26, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this
Hal, Loved your DWTS article.Always enjoy everything you write. My son picked up some pretty good pointers from “the ole professor” Thanks.By Pressbox Cigars
December 26, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this
Dudey, you might be as dumb as Dave from Centerville (see ask Hal in Sundays papers). If you knew anything about Hal McCoy let alone baseball you would have known that Hal has addressed this several times and he has no ill feelings towards the “The Hit King”. Hal did his job by covering the story. That’s it. If Hal hates him so much, why is his number in Hal’s cell phone, why does Hal stop in to say hi when he was in Vegas with Rose, why does Rose sign Jerseys for Hal McCoy, why does Doc Hollywood (like you know who that is!) get calls from Rose letting him know how nice it was to talk to Hal. You are simply STUPID.By HoosierVirg
December 25, 2008 8:57 PM | Link to this
Merry Christmas Hal, love the DWTS’s thoughts. IIRC, Pedro’s nickname by the other players was Dracula because of the biting incident. IIRC, he also liked to raise fighting roosters, he was a good pitcher and I enjoyed it when he got on the mound.By Gary Maloy Jr.
December 25, 2008 6:16 PM | Link to this
Pedro Borbon? Good idea. During the 1973 play-offs against the NY Mets, Pete Rose took out Bud Harrelsen at 2nd base (broke up a double play). A fight broke out, and Borbon reportedly used his teeth to tear the bill off of a Mets cap. I’d love to see him dancing in NY, ripping a Mets cap to shreds. Oh, and for those of you too young to remember him, he was a pretty darned good relief pitcher, too!By tarbag
December 25, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this
how about Pedro Borbone, I forget the spelling of the last name, is anyone here old enough to remember him? I agree with the one poster about #14 let it rest, what he did was pretty timmy compared to what the players are doing today.By Kevin
December 25, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this
Merry Christmas to you and yours Hal!!By Gary Maloy Jr.
December 25, 2008 2:42 AM | Link to this
Barry Larkin would probably do alright. And he hasn’t been out of the game for 25 years as is the case with George Foster.By dudey
December 24, 2008 8:54 PM | Link to this
HEY HAL, STILL CAN’T GET OVER YOUR HATRED FOR PETE ROSE CAN YA! HE HAD MORE TALENT IN HIS JOCK STRAP THAN YOU’LL EVER HAVE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO ON “DWTS” WITH SISSY BOY BUD SELIG AS YOUR PARTNER!!!By Harry the Horse
December 24, 2008 7:51 PM | Link to this
It would be interesting if Eric Davis or Ken Griffey Jr. was a dancer. How many hamstrings, calf muscles, ligaments, bones would be pulled, torn,broken in a 3 minute dance???By Dan - Austin, TX
December 24, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this
I would like to see Lonnie Smith on DWTS. Remember him? He played for the Phillies - nickname: “Skates”. Because he often face-planted after tripping over his own feet while trying to field fly balls (twice led Majors in errors.) A guy like that trying to dance would get some ratings!By The Goose from Greenville
December 24, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this
Hey Hal, you forgot Johnny Bench. He’s such an egomaniac, He’d be the first contestant that wouldn’t want a dance partner. He’d come out on the dance floor, strutting in his Herb Tarlick liesure suit. Doing his smooth Saturday Night Fever moves to Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain”.By Y-City Jim
December 24, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this
While I always thought Vaughn was a bit unstable, Tomko probably deserved it.By donb51
December 24, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this
Hal, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from one of your biggest fans! You ARE the best!By Festoon Fussnucker
December 24, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this
So, Hal, whatcha think about Mr. McClelland voting for McGwire for HOF? Is this guy just ignorant or what?By Jeff
December 24, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this
I believe the pitcher in question was Brett Tomko.By John
December 24, 2008 6:39 AM | Link to this
I never heard of that Greg Vaughn incident. Anybody remember who it was?By MAC
December 24, 2008 1:35 AM | Link to this
Hal, I hope U R not holding your breath waiting for the Reds’ to announce their new LF power-hitting addition. On a lighter note, who would U dance w/ and what song would U choose; anyone have any ideas?